Forgetting what lies behind

In Philippians 3, Paul encourages us:  "forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13b-14, ESV).

Forgetting what lies behind, for me, does not come naturally.  I have invested a lot of energy into dwelling on the past, good or bad.  But I am all but free.  I have been enslaved inside of me by dwelling on the choices I made, good or bad.  But I long for this upward call that Paul mentions.

Paul's past is exemplary, for the most part.  He attests, and rightly so, that he has "reason for confidence in the flesh"(Philippians 3:4, ESV).  "If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh," Paul explains, "I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee, as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless."

Paul had all these things to claim about himself.  "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.  Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith-- that I may know him and the power of his resurrection and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain resurrection from the dead" (Philippians 3:7-11, ESV).

I had a difficult life.  I have suffered greatly.  But some of my suffering was based on the bad choices I made.  I marvel at how Jesus has been able to work in my life through my sufferings, and so, I find it difficult to forget what was done by him in case I may need to learn again from past mistakes.  However, Paul encourages us to forget about the past.  If I ignore his encouragement, and continue to hold on to my past, good or bad, how am I to be able to deny myself, and take up my cross daily, and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23, ESV)?  How am I to suffer for Christ, if I can't let go of the sufferings of my past that came as a result of disobedience?

I choose now to let go of my past.  I started this blog as a way to reflect on my past, partly to rant about it and partly to share what God has done.  However, I choose to look to what God has for me in the future.  I will write only about what God is doing in my life.  May I constantly be looking for his work in my life and the effects thereof.  May I "press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14, ESV).